your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
