I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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