tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
