glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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