I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
