my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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