I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cannot find my penis.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
