I met the friendliest cop last night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize