I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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