I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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