My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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