My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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