ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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