I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
