Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
