Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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