People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
