Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
