Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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