Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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