Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
