I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm really busy with my period
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