Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
