I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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