My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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