She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
