She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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