the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
