Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
