You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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