hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
