It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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