JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
