You just made me feel so damn special
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize