Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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