Having a random hookup so left but love u
My liver just broke up with me...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who died my cat blue again?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
