Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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