I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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