I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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