I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
