Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
