You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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