I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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