I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
