mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
