Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's blow job season.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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