Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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