Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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