after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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