What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
