just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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