Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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