Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize