I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
