So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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