I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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