never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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