Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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