i think my tv is drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
