can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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