the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
