i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
