We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
