I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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