even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
