just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize